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Frenemies and Bullying: Helping Girls Cope When Friendship Is Used as a Weapon

3 years ago · · 0 comments

Frenemies and Bullying: Helping Girls Cope When Friendship Is Used as a Weapon

The world of friendship and social status can be a challenging one for girls. Bullying prevention expert Signe Whitson observes that “adults often struggle with the question of, ‘Should I intervene in a child’s friendship problems?'” However, she asserts, “Kids need adult support and insights when it comes to navigating the choppy waters of friendship, disguised as a weapon.” In an insightful Psychology Today article, Whitson, a child and adolescent therapist, provides tips for parents who want to help their girls through friendship conflicts and teach them how to find good friends.

Using friendship and social status for manipulation is called relational aggression, and Whitson says the first trick is helping kids recognize it when they see it. “This type of bullying is marked by crimes of omission that make it very hard for girls to put their finger on what they are experiencing in their friendships — yet the pain, humiliation, and isolation are unmistakable,” she points out. According to Whitson, some of the common bullying behaviors that parents should make girls aware of include: excluding someone from parties and play dates; mocking, teasing, or saying something mean but following it with “just joking”; starting rumors and gossip in person, online, or by cell phone; and threatening to take away friendship if someone doesn’t toe the line. By teaching kids that these actions are unacceptable, girls can “make a conscious choice to move away from friends who use these behaviors.”

Girls also need to know that it’s okay to be angry — but they need to express that anger appropriately. “Anger is a normal, natural, human emotion,” Whitson asserts, “yet many girls, from a very early age, are bombarded with the message that anger = bad… [which] makes it difficult for young girls to stop and say, ‘Hey. I don’t like the way you are treating me right now.'” Parents who “teach their children how to be angry effectively — by role modeling assertive communication skills and by accepting anger when it is respectfully expressed — fortify girls with the confidence to walk away from toxic friendships.”  Moreover, by teaching your Mighty Girl how to show her strength — even by using simple phrases such as ‘Knock it off,’ or ‘Tell me when you get to the funny part’ — she will learn how to send a “simple, powerful signal that [she] will not allow herself to be treated poorly.”

At the same time, parents need to provide a sounding board for their kids when they are struggling with a friendship — and, if necessary, a shoulder to cry on. “Kids need to have a safe place to be vulnerable — to vent, to talk about their friendship frustrations, and even to cry,” Whitson argues. “Parents, relatives, teachers, counselors, and other caring adults are ideally suited to provide this safe place…. No child should have to find her way through painful conflict alone.” Make sure she knows that she can talk about anything with you, even — or especially — if she’s not sure how to act on her feelings, Whitson says: “I am all about teaching young people that it is okay to feel sad, or hurt, or angry, and that it is a good thing to talk about their emotions with others.”

Most importantly, Whitson says, teach girls what a good friendship looks like. “When kids understand how a healthy friendship should look and feel, they are best equipped to extricate themselves from friendships that are toxic and damaging,” she argues. She encourages parents to have an ongoing discussion about what makes a good friend, going beyond obvious factors like common interests to address whether a friend “helps me when I need it… [and] stands up for me” and  “uses words to tell me how she feels… [and] cares about my opinions and feelings.” When parents teach their daughter what good friendship feels like, Whitson asserts, they give a gift that will last her whole life: “Fostering discussions and careful consideration of the values involved in making and maintaining healthy friendships is one of the most important things adults can do to help girls choose friendships wisely.”


10 Essential Qualities for Living an Authentically Empowered Life

3 years ago · · 0 comments

10 Essential Qualities for Living an Authentically Empowered Life

7 min read
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

To be powerful in the business world you must possess the essential qualities that will guarantee to keep you ahead of the game. The majority of people do not reach the levels of success or satisfaction they desire, not because they don’t have the talent, but because they do not have the other qualities necessary to make it happen. To live as powerfully as you desire, you must embody the indispensable qualities of those who have reached the mecca of success before you.

1. Live fiercely.

Living fiercely means you challenge yourself to live life to the fullest. Do not compare yourself to others. Your only real competition is with your own self-doubt. If you cater to your doubt, it will partner with “delay” and you will struggle to initiate and follow through. You may live an average life, but it won’t be a satisfying life. Living fiercely means you go at life with your whole heart. The more fiercely you live, the more wonderful life becomes. Those who have succeeded, those who have the wealth and happiness you desire, have lived fiercely.

Related: Why Valedictorians Rarely Become Rich and Famous — and the Average Millionaire’s College GPA is 2.9

2. Care deeply.

Caring deeply means you know who you are, what you need and how to have compassion for yourself. In doing this, you increase your capacity to care for all others; even those whom you would prefer not to spend time with. If you cannot be kind, you must have the grace to remain silent. Further, when you care deeply about what you do, what your purpose is, and the effort and quality of the work you put into yourself, your passions and others, it will show. Caring deeply helps you create sustainable networks that are supportive of your efforts. Caring deeply is contagious, as it inspires others to want to be a part of what you’re doing.

3. Accept reality.

Unforgivable things are going to happen. You will face plenty of loss and betrayal. To protect your success, you must accept the reality of the people and circumstances which have been set for your destruction. Acceptance brings you to reality and reality is the only place you can start to heal from in an effort to change your life.  Reality is where forgiveness and wisdom combine. To be successful, you must learn to “drop it, leave it and let it go.” Forgiveness is an essential ingredient when it comes to success; whereas, your wisdom lies in not forgetting. When you remember who and what did not have your best interest at heart, you are less likely to make those mistakes again in the future.

Related: 11 Qualities of Super Successful People (Infographic)

4. Discerning

You cannot host toxic people and rise in your life or career at the same time. For this reason, to be as successful and fulfilled as you desire, you must be discerning about the company you keep. You cannot fly with bowling balls attached to your wings. For this reason, rid your path of toxic people as soon as you recognize their toxicity. It only takes one toxic person to destroy the progress of many. Success is about surrounding yourself with a team of people who are similar in drive, variable in skills, and driven from the same infectious passion that motivates you. The key to your success, will always stem from the quality of your personal relationships.

5. Positive

To live an empowered life, you must train your mindset to believe in your capacity to succeed. You must choose to carry a mental and emotional attitude focused on the bright side of life. Empowerment is ultimately a state of consciousness where you anticipate happiness, health, success and the belief that you can overcome any obstacle or difficulty. Say Yes to life, to new opportunities, thoughts, ideas and directions. You must allow your mind to be open, flexible and to trust that each time you say Yes, that you will be lead into more success.

Related: Why You Should Never Follow Your Passion

6. Grit

Trust that failure is the springboard for your success. Each mistake made is designed to take you in a new direction, rather than designed to take you down. You must refuse to allow setbacks to discourage you. Let setbacks inspire you more deeply to set new goals, to generate new ideas and to take novel ways up the mountain. Let there be no amount of hard work you will shy away from, regardless of how talented you are. Hold the awareness that having a talent for something is far different than excelling at something; therefore, your hard work will trump your talent every time. To feel empowered on any level, you must have the grit to finish what you start.

7. Humble

To live from a state of empowerment, you must have the humility to know when you need to ask for help, and when it is time to allow the efforts of others to shine more brightly than your own. Humility gives you the wisdom to understand that success is a shared experience. When achievements can be shared, it makes you more engaging to others, as your humility naturally draws intrigue. There is nothing more beautiful than to give credit to the team of people who helped you get to where you are.

Related: Vacation Tips From a Workaholic

8. Set boundaries.

As important as it is to say Yes, you must also know when to say No. Overextending yourself to an oppressive schedule that doesn’t allow you to take care of your health, nutrition, to get adequate sleep or enough time for your personal life is not success at all, it’s slavery. Success is not empowering if you do not have your health, the experience of deep love and the time to live your life wholeheartedly. It is crucial to take breaks from the grind, and to experience the fruits of your labor. If you say No to one opportunity, another will come along that will be even better. Say No whenever necessary to establish a healthy work/life balance.

9. Courageous

The motto you must live by, is to feel the fear and do it anyways. To experience empowerment, you have to put guts over fear. You must face your fears if you want to know what you’re capable of. How can you know the depth of your capacity if you never test it? You’ve got this one life, so you may as well test the limits of what you believe your capacities to be, and prove your more limiting beliefs to be false. To be in the game of success, you’ve got to be in it to win it.

Related: Why Travel Should Be a Top Priority for Every Entrepreneur

10. Tough-minded

You must not allow giving up to be a viable option. If you’re seeking to live your dream, you are the only person who can go out there and live it. You cannot give up in the middle of the race just because the finish line isn’t coming fast enough. Stay in the moment, learn patience and keep working hard. Your hard work and tough-mindedness will give you a resilience to outlast your competitors. Most people are not tough-minded enough to be patient or to tolerate uncertainty; they want the quick-fix and the easy win. If you want to live an empowered life, you must become a warrior; skilled in the area of perseverance. You must view each challenge as a competition to be won.


7 practical tips to achieve a positive mindset

3 years ago · · 0 comments

7 practical tips to achieve a positive mindset

7 Practical Tips to Achieve a Positive Mindset


The “power of positive thinking” is a popular concept, and sometimes it can feel a little cliché. But the physical and mental benefits of positive thinking have been demonstrated by multiple scientific studies. Positive thinking can give you more confidence, improve your mood, and even reduce the likelihood of developing conditions such as hypertension, depression and other stress-related disorders.

All this sounds great, but what does the “power of positive thinking” really mean?

You can define positive thinking as positive imagery, positive self-talk or general optimism, but these are all still general, ambiguous concepts. If you want to be effective in thinking and being more positive, you’ll need concrete examples to help you through the process.

Related: 10 Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions

Here are seven:

1. Start the day with positive affirmation.

How you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever woken up late, panicked, and then felt like nothing good happened the rest of the day? This is likely because you started out the day with a negative emotion and a pessimistic view that carried into every other event you experienced. Instead of letting this dominate you, start your day with positive affirmations. Talk to yourself in the mirror, even if you feel silly, with statements like, “Today will be a good day” or “I’m going to be awesome today.” You’ll be amazed how much your day improves.

2. Focus on the good things, however small.

Almost invariably, you’re going to encounter obstacles throughout the day—there’s no such thing as a perfect day. When you encounter such a challenge, focus on the benefits, no matter how slight or unimportant they seem. For example, if you get stuck in traffic, think about how you now have time to listen to the rest of your favorite podcast. If the store is out of the food you want to prepare, think about the thrill of trying something new.

3. Find humor in bad situations.

Allow yourself to experience humor in even the darkest or most trying situations. Remind yourself that this situation will probably make for a good story later and try to crack a joke about it. Say you’re laid off; imagine the most absurd way you could spend your last day, or the most ridiculous job you could pursue next—like kangaroo handler or bubblegum sculptor.

Related: 5 Ways to Stay Positive When You’re Having a Bad Day

4. Turn failures into lessons.

You aren’t perfect. You’re going to make mistakes and experience failure in multiple contexts, at multiple jobs and with multiple people. Instead of focusing on how you failed, think about what you’re going to do next time—turn your failure into a lesson. Conceptualize this in concrete rules. For example, you could come up with three new rules for managing projects as a result.

5. Transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

Negative self-talk can creep up easily and is often hard to notice. You might think I’m so bad at this or I shouldn’t have tried that. But these thoughts turn into internalized feelings and might cement your conceptions of yourself. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and replace those negative messages with positive ones. For example, I’m so bad at thisbecomes Once I get more practice, I’ll be way better at thisI shouldn’t have tried becomes That didn’t work out as planned—maybe next time.

6. Focus on the present.

I’m talking about the present—not today, not this hour, only this exact moment. You might be getting chewed out by your boss, but what in this exact moment is happening that’s so bad? Forget the comment he made five minutes ago. Forget what he might say five minutes from now. Focus on this one, individual moment. In most situations, you’ll find it’s not as bad as you imagine it to be. Most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event. Stay in the present moment.

7. Find positive friends, mentors and co-workers.

When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll hear positive outlooks, positive stories and positive affirmations. Their positive words will sink in and affect your own line of thinking, which then affects your words and similarly contributes to the group. Finding positive people to fill up your life can be difficult, but you need to eliminate the negativity in your life before it consumes you. Do what you can to improve the positivity of others, and let their positivity affect you the same way.

Almost anybody in any situation can apply these lessons to their own lives and increase their positive attitude. As you might imagine, positive thinking offers compounding returns, so the more often you practice it, the greater benefits you’ll realize.


7 Practical Tips to Achieve a Positive Mindset

Childhood bullying

3 years ago · · 1 comment

Childhood bullying

People who have been bullied can experience mental health problems later in life such as stress, anxiety and depression. So it is vital that children who have been bullied work through the past in order to move on and forward.

There are ways we can identify bullying, and numerous things we can do to stop it. Research shows its important that we do as bullying can often affect us throughout our childhood and later on in life. (iStock)

Childhood bullying is so common that it may not seem like a big deal. Up to 35% of people are estimated to have experienced it at some point. By adulthood, we are generally expected to have “got over” it. But the mental health effects of being bullied can be serious and last a lifetime. One study has even suggested that, when it comes to mental health, bullying is as harmful as child abuse, if not worse.

Approximately 20% of people who have been bullied experience some kind of mental health problems later in life, even at the age of 50. While some of these, such as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), are easy to spot, others may be more difficult to recognise. These can range from inexplicable bouts of anger to a lifetime of feeling inferior to other people.

Although there has been an immense amount of research on bullying, most of it has focused on immediate effects, intervention and prevention. So we need more research on long-term effects and new forms of bullying, such as online abuse.

That said, severe long-term effects of bullying are relatively well documented. Research has shown that victims of bullying report more severe anxiety symptoms than others. Being bullied is also linked to social anxiety, which often lasts into adulthood and increases the risk of developing personality disorders.

Depression is another negative consequence of bullying , which might lead to suicidal ideation and even suicide attempts. So if you are struggling with depression or anxiety and have a history of being bullied, there may be a link.

One of the most severe consequences is post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Research has shown that 40.5% of girls and 27.6% of boys show PTSD symptoms at the time of being bullied. These individuals’ torment can sometimes follow them into later life. This can be triggered by just remembering the bullying incident or by related stimuli, such as visiting their school as adults or by encountering their bully in a different environment.

Trust and self-esteem

While people with severe depression, anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder may actually seek help and uncover that bullying could have played a part in their mental health problems, for many other people the signs are more subtle.

Self-esteem is an aspect that is both a risk factor and a consequence of bullying. It is not hard to see that children who are suffering from repetitive bullying at school, at a time when they are still in the process of developing their personalities, could suffer a serious and lasting decline in self-esteem.

On the other hand, high self-esteem has been linked to bullying others. However, this effect seems to be moderated by other factors – high self-esteem is only linked to high bullying rates in schools which the students perceive to have a poor climate.

Another distinctive example is anger, which is a prerequisite of aggression and has been associated with both victimisation and perpetration of bullying. For the bullies, it is well recognised that, behind their abusive behaviour, lies the intention to hurt another individual – usually motivated by negative emotions such as aggression, anger and hostility.

But repeated bullying can also make victims more angry, which in turn maintains the cycle of bullying. The main difference between bullies and victims is that bullies exhibit higher levels of proactive aggression (behaviour that anticipates a reward), whereas victims exhibit higher levels of reactive aggression (anger in response to a threat).

Bullying can also lead to health problems, alcohol and drug abuse, social withdrawal and severe trust issues. For many victims who are trying to overcome the experience, the loss of trust is perhaps the most challenging consequence. But if nobody stands up for you at the time of being bullied, you begin to lose trust in your peers – and that may be for life.

It is also important to note that bullying effects are often related. In other words, low self-esteem is related to depression, depression is related to suicidal ideation, and so on. Such relationships lead victims to experience not one, but multiple bullying effects during their victimisation period and in their adulthood.

Dealing with the past

So what should you do if you suddenly realise that bouts of anger or low self-esteem may have resulted from bullying that happened decades ago? One option is talking therapy or cognitive behavioural therapy. The latter involves training yourself to change your thinking and behaviour, tackling for example negative thinking, social phobia or low self-esteem.

When it comes to anger, various studies have indicated that restorative justice techniques – a mediation between the victim and the offender while promoting discussion and forgiveness – could help. However, such practices can only benefit victims and bullies respectively if applied in a controlled environment, such as the school, by a trained member of staff.

Some individuals take their own initiative to face their bully or victim in adulthood and either apologise for their past behaviour or seek answers for their victimisation. However, they must keep in mind that such an encounter might have the exact opposite results. Research shows that bullies often maintain an aggressive behaviour in adulthood. Therapy or counselling are usually therefore much better ways to deal with the consequences.

Perhaps the most important thing in order to get over traumatic bullying experiences is to stop blaming yourself. There have been numerous studies indicating that this is very common and a result of wrongfully developed perceptions. For example, it is well established that overweight children suffer higher levels of bullying than others. Such individuals may view their body mass or inability to “stand up for themselves” as the reason they were picked on. If these victims do not accept their individuality and stop self blaming, it can be very hard to heal the wounds.

The ConversationBeing bullied as a child in school, which is such a huge part of an individual’s world, is clearly a traumatic experience – it should come as no surprise that it may leave lasting scars. Luckily, there is plenty of help out there. And even if you don’t want to embark on getting therapy, just identifying the negative thinking patterns and behaviour that the bullying may have triggered can ultimately help you change them and move on.

Calli Tzani Pepelasi, Lecturer in Investigative Psychology, University of HuddersfieldThis article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

Were you bullied when you were growing up? Has your child been bullied? How did you/they deal with the trauma? Tell us by sending your comments to chatback@parent24.com and we may publish them.

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Bullying at School

5 years ago · · 3 comments

Bullying at School

From abusive behaviour on the school playground to intentionally disrespecting classmates on social media, bullying is a widespread problem that can affect your child’s mental and emotional health.


What is bullying?

Bullying is when a child or a group of children abuse their power to hurt or intimidate others. There are different types of bullying. For instance, verbal bullying, physical bullying, social or relationship and cyber bullying.  Parents should remember that both the bully and the child being bullied need help.

What are the signs of bullying?

Bullying can be identified by the following types of behaviour:

  • deliberate aggression,
  • an unbalanced power relationship between the bully and the victim, and
  • the causing of physical pain and/or emotional anxiety.

A bully can be identified by the following behaviours:

  • they are aggressive and get into fights often, and
  • they never take responsibility for their actions.

What are the effects of bullying?  School girl being bullied

There are many effects of bullying that you can look out for. These include:

  • faking illnesses to avoid having to attend school,
  • a low self-esteem,
  • social isolation,
  • unexplained bruises and injuries,
  • becomes upset after using the internet or cellphone, and
  • becomes very secretive about online activities.

What are the different types of bullying?

There are 4 main types of bullying that you should look out for:

  • Verbal and written (name calling, negative comments, intimidation, and threatening or humiliating SMSes),
  • Physical (bumping, scratching, shouldering, hitting, tripping, biting, rolling eyes or showing suggestive signs),
  • Social or relationships (gossiping (verbal or written), revealing personal information, manipulation of the child with a view to humiliation or exclusion from a group), and
  • Cyber bullying (intimidating or harassing a child using a digital platform such as social networks).

What are the consequences of bullying? 

There are many effects of bullying that you can look out for. They include:

  • absenteeism and a fear of attending school,
  • feelings of inferiority,
  • self-esteem problems,
  • feelings of loneliness,
  • social isolation,
  • emotional problems,
  • communication problems,
  • depression,
  • struggle to achieve academically,
  • some victims commit suicide,
  • rule breaking, anti-social behaviour patterns, and
  • risk of criminal behaviour later.

Prevention of bullying

Once bullying has been identified, it’s important to address the situation as soon as possible with the school, where appropriate measures and actions can be discussed and implemented.

Western Cape Minister of Education Debbie Schäfer has urged parents and learners to report incidents of bullying.  She said parents are key to identifying behavioural changes in their children.

The Western Cape Education Department (WCED) has provided guidelines to schools on how to deal with bullying. Schools need to deal with the issue in line with codes of conduct, and intervene appropriately to support the victim and to change the behaviour of the culprit.

Districts provide training and support on this issue as part of broader support on disciplinary issues. Teachers can use the following guidelines to prevent bullying:
  • Provide a clear guideline for acceptable behaviour.
  • Create class rules which state that bullying is unacceptable.
  • All learners who are guilty of bullying should be called to account. It will send out a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated.
  • It is, however, important that the focus shouldn’t be on punishment so much as on the changing of behaviour.

Support to the victim

Support to the victims of bullying is provided through:

  • protecting them from further bullying,
  • helping them to understand the bully’s actions, which will enable them not to look for the cause of the bully’s behaviour in themselves,
  • involving them in educational games of therapy through which they can give expression to their feelings through drawing, writing, and drama,
  • involving them in a support group consisting of other victims, and
  • linking them with a different group of friends who will act supportively.

Cyber bullying

If your child has a cellphone, they may be at risk of being cyber bullied. Bullying may occur through social networks, SMSes or emails.

The Basic Education Department has issued guidelines on social media and social networking at school to all public schools, and called on all principals, teachers and members of school governing bodies to familiarise themselves with them. The guidelines can be found on the WCED website.

You can support your child by using the guidelines provided by South African Police Service (SAPS) listed below:

  • Don’t respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants.
  • Don’t retaliate. Responding with similar threats reinforces the bully’s behaviour
  • Save the evidence. Online messages can usually be saved and shown to someone who can help. Save evidence in case the bullying gets worse.
  • Block the bully. Use your social media preference settings or contact the administrator to block an online bully.
  • Reach out for help. You need to ask for help. A trusted adult can provide support.

Help for bullies

It’s important to remember that the bully often comes from a background where there is insecurity, little parent involvement, and inconsistency in actions of parents.

These learners are often subjected to physical punishment and emotional outbursts. Before formal counselling is necessary, the bully must come to the realisation that his/her behaviour is always going to have negative consequences until the behaviour is changed.

Helpful questions for the bully: school girl being bullied by classmates

  • Why do you feel the need to bully others?
  • Do you understand that your actions are hurting someone?
  • What did you want to achieve?
  • How will you change your behaviour so that you don’t hurt anyone?

The bully must learn the following:

  • To accept responsibility for their own behaviour.
  • To accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions for themselves.
  • To become uncomfortable (my behaviour got me into trouble and I want to avoid it next time).
  • To change their behaviour in order to stay out of trouble.
  • To find other ways of satisfying their needs.
  • To take responsibility for the effect that their actions have had on others.
  • To feel guilty about their actions.
  • To trust others.
  • To build relationships with supportive adults.

Getting help

You don’t need to deal with bullying on your own. Reach out to your loved ones or use the WCED’s Safe Schools hotline to report abuse, available to teachers, learners and parents. Contact the hotline on 0800 45 46 47.

Source: Western Cape Education Department


7 Ways You Can Benefit From Life Coaching

5 years ago · · 2 comments

7 Ways You Can Benefit From Life Coaching

Some people are  not too sure what Life Coaching is and how it can have a tremendous impact on all areas of  life. This post is dedicated to creating some clarity in that area and describing 7 ways that you can benefit from Life Coaching. I have always been a life coach, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I did it formally. I remember as far back as high school, people would come to me for advice, motivation and an alternative perspective. I have been going ever since. Throughout my life, I have had some outstanding family members and mentors who have helped me personally, academically and professionally – constantly reminding me of what was possible for my life, regardless of the circumstance. My life is dedicated to returning that power.

1. Gaining clarity about what you want

Gaining clarity about what you want and how you want to get it. Becoming clear on who you want to become, what your passion and purpose is, and what is most important to you. Most people go through life never taking the time to define themselves and their life, and thus never have a clear direction, struggle with following through and settle for mediocrity.

2. Improving confidence

Improving confidence and developing an empowering self image are essential for success in the workplace, as well as physical health and  in our intimate relationships. Know what we are worth, raise your standards and see yourself as someone who deserves the best out of life. That will empower you and fuel you towards your greatest goals.

3. Overcoming obstacles, fear, and insecurities will set you ahead of the pack.

Most people run from their fears, you will learn to recognize them and allow them to drive you towards achievement.

4. Implementation

Bridge the gap between theory and practice. Taking education and motivation and turning it into the desired result!

5. Recognition of the possibilities for your life

Most people see life as fixed, permanent, as having no choice or no control. With a coach you can receive an outside perspective and realize that you have many options regardless of circumstance.

6. Creating a plan to reach your goals faster

Most people don’t have a life or goal plan; they approach life day-to-day with no clear intentions, vision or mission. All that changes with a coach.

7. Someone to hold you accountable

Being able to check in with a coach weekly is like having a best friend whose sole purpose is to help you succeed and hit whatever target you have set. Sometimes it is hard to find people in our lives who can honestly hold us accountable, all while cheering us on and motivating us throughout the whole process.

I would love to help you on this journey.

I know the world is a better place when people live lives that are passionate, compassionate, productive and meaningful. Contact me for more information on how we can work together so you can show the world your greatness!

“Your life is your message. Make it an inspiring one” -Buddha

As always, I hope this helps. Feel free to share this with your family, friends and colleagues.

All the best,

Jeff Moore


The Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach

5 years ago · · 0 comments

The Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach


If you haven’t used a life coach, you may have some questions about how it works and what benefits you can expect so I wanted to provide an overview of the benefits for you.

Life Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that can help you to produce extraordinary results in your life, career and / or businesses. Life Coaching is not counselling or therapy; it is forward looking and is about achieving positive results in your life. As your coach, I will show you techniques and simple strategies for helping you to close the gap between where you are now and what you want to achieve.

There are many benefits it be had from engaging in life coaching:


Knowing what you want can be half the battle in life. As part of your pre-coaching work, I will help you to get clear about what you would like to achieve from coaching (if you are not already). On an on-going basis, coaching will help you to get and stay clear about your goals and the direction you would like to head in.


Accountability is a powerful tool for creating change. When engaged in the life coaching process, you will work with me, your coach to create goals to achieve between sessions. Coaching is very much a joint journey and as your life coach, I don’t give you advice or tell you what to do; together we will create goals for you that will be realistic and achievable and importantly, inspiring to you. The goals should be your goals and owned by you. If for some reason you are not able to achieve that goal, you will work with me in the next session to see what stopped you and help you to move forward again. The simple act of telling someone else what you intend to do can make a huge difference in the desire to achieve it. If you find that you are putting something off week after week, it is much more obvious in the coaching scenario and gets dealt with quicker than you may do by yourself. This means that you can either get to the bottom of why you have not achieved the goal or decide to leave it to one side if you realise it no longer inspires you.

Unbiased Input

Friends and family can be a great source of support, but sometimes unbiased input can make a big difference to your perspective and help you to see things about yourself and your life situation differently. We often hear things better from an outsider, than from people to close to the situation or us. Though your Mum may always remind you of your strengths, hearing the same message from someone outside of your situation can be helpful.

The Opportunity To Focus On You

Life coaching is an opportunity to focus on you and your dreams and aspirations. In day to day life, being busy with family, friends, work and hobbies often means that you and your bigger wants get left to the side. Life coaching gives you the space to think about you, your thoughts and feelings and about what is important to you. Life coaching can be truly life changing and can enable you to carve the space in your life for your goals and what is important to you.

Personal Development

Life coaching can be challenging and hard work, though also rewarding and fun. You will be looking at yourself honestly and challenging yourself to push yourself beyond your comfort zones. Life coaching will enhance your personal development and assist you in taking the various areas of your life to the next level.

Have you had life coaching? Please feel free to share the benefits you have found. Have further questions about life coaching? Please feel free to leave a question in the comments section or contact me.