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Bullying at School

5 years ago · · 3 comments

Bullying at School

From abusive behaviour on the school playground to intentionally disrespecting classmates on social media, bullying is a widespread problem that can affect your child’s mental and emotional health.


What is bullying?

Bullying is when a child or a group of children abuse their power to hurt or intimidate others. There are different types of bullying. For instance, verbal bullying, physical bullying, social or relationship and cyber bullying.  Parents should remember that both the bully and the child being bullied need help.

What are the signs of bullying?

Bullying can be identified by the following types of behaviour:

  • deliberate aggression,
  • an unbalanced power relationship between the bully and the victim, and
  • the causing of physical pain and/or emotional anxiety.

A bully can be identified by the following behaviours:

  • they are aggressive and get into fights often, and
  • they never take responsibility for their actions.

What are the effects of bullying?  School girl being bullied

There are many effects of bullying that you can look out for. These include:

  • faking illnesses to avoid having to attend school,
  • a low self-esteem,
  • social isolation,
  • unexplained bruises and injuries,
  • becomes upset after using the internet or cellphone, and
  • becomes very secretive about online activities.

What are the different types of bullying?

There are 4 main types of bullying that you should look out for:

  • Verbal and written (name calling, negative comments, intimidation, and threatening or humiliating SMSes),
  • Physical (bumping, scratching, shouldering, hitting, tripping, biting, rolling eyes or showing suggestive signs),
  • Social or relationships (gossiping (verbal or written), revealing personal information, manipulation of the child with a view to humiliation or exclusion from a group), and
  • Cyber bullying (intimidating or harassing a child using a digital platform such as social networks).

What are the consequences of bullying? 

There are many effects of bullying that you can look out for. They include:

  • absenteeism and a fear of attending school,
  • feelings of inferiority,
  • self-esteem problems,
  • feelings of loneliness,
  • social isolation,
  • emotional problems,
  • communication problems,
  • depression,
  • struggle to achieve academically,
  • some victims commit suicide,
  • rule breaking, anti-social behaviour patterns, and
  • risk of criminal behaviour later.

Prevention of bullying

Once bullying has been identified, it’s important to address the situation as soon as possible with the school, where appropriate measures and actions can be discussed and implemented.

Western Cape Minister of Education Debbie Schäfer has urged parents and learners to report incidents of bullying.  She said parents are key to identifying behavioural changes in their children.

The Western Cape Education Department (WCED) has provided guidelines to schools on how to deal with bullying. Schools need to deal with the issue in line with codes of conduct, and intervene appropriately to support the victim and to change the behaviour of the culprit.

Districts provide training and support on this issue as part of broader support on disciplinary issues. Teachers can use the following guidelines to prevent bullying:
  • Provide a clear guideline for acceptable behaviour.
  • Create class rules which state that bullying is unacceptable.
  • All learners who are guilty of bullying should be called to account. It will send out a clear message that bullying will not be tolerated.
  • It is, however, important that the focus shouldn’t be on punishment so much as on the changing of behaviour.

Support to the victim

Support to the victims of bullying is provided through:

  • protecting them from further bullying,
  • helping them to understand the bully’s actions, which will enable them not to look for the cause of the bully’s behaviour in themselves,
  • involving them in educational games of therapy through which they can give expression to their feelings through drawing, writing, and drama,
  • involving them in a support group consisting of other victims, and
  • linking them with a different group of friends who will act supportively.

Cyber bullying

If your child has a cellphone, they may be at risk of being cyber bullied. Bullying may occur through social networks, SMSes or emails.

The Basic Education Department has issued guidelines on social media and social networking at school to all public schools, and called on all principals, teachers and members of school governing bodies to familiarise themselves with them. The guidelines can be found on the WCED website.

You can support your child by using the guidelines provided by South African Police Service (SAPS) listed below:

  • Don’t respond. If someone bullies you, remember that your reaction is usually exactly what the bully wants.
  • Don’t retaliate. Responding with similar threats reinforces the bully’s behaviour
  • Save the evidence. Online messages can usually be saved and shown to someone who can help. Save evidence in case the bullying gets worse.
  • Block the bully. Use your social media preference settings or contact the administrator to block an online bully.
  • Reach out for help. You need to ask for help. A trusted adult can provide support.

Help for bullies

It’s important to remember that the bully often comes from a background where there is insecurity, little parent involvement, and inconsistency in actions of parents.

These learners are often subjected to physical punishment and emotional outbursts. Before formal counselling is necessary, the bully must come to the realisation that his/her behaviour is always going to have negative consequences until the behaviour is changed.

Helpful questions for the bully: school girl being bullied by classmates

  • Why do you feel the need to bully others?
  • Do you understand that your actions are hurting someone?
  • What did you want to achieve?
  • How will you change your behaviour so that you don’t hurt anyone?

The bully must learn the following:

  • To accept responsibility for their own behaviour.
  • To accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions for themselves.
  • To become uncomfortable (my behaviour got me into trouble and I want to avoid it next time).
  • To change their behaviour in order to stay out of trouble.
  • To find other ways of satisfying their needs.
  • To take responsibility for the effect that their actions have had on others.
  • To feel guilty about their actions.
  • To trust others.
  • To build relationships with supportive adults.

Getting help

You don’t need to deal with bullying on your own. Reach out to your loved ones or use the WCED’s Safe Schools hotline to report abuse, available to teachers, learners and parents. Contact the hotline on 0800 45 46 47.

Source: Western Cape Education Department


7 Ways You Can Benefit From Life Coaching

5 years ago · · 2 comments

7 Ways You Can Benefit From Life Coaching

Some people are  not too sure what Life Coaching is and how it can have a tremendous impact on all areas of  life. This post is dedicated to creating some clarity in that area and describing 7 ways that you can benefit from Life Coaching. I have always been a life coach, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I did it formally. I remember as far back as high school, people would come to me for advice, motivation and an alternative perspective. I have been going ever since. Throughout my life, I have had some outstanding family members and mentors who have helped me personally, academically and professionally – constantly reminding me of what was possible for my life, regardless of the circumstance. My life is dedicated to returning that power.

1. Gaining clarity about what you want

Gaining clarity about what you want and how you want to get it. Becoming clear on who you want to become, what your passion and purpose is, and what is most important to you. Most people go through life never taking the time to define themselves and their life, and thus never have a clear direction, struggle with following through and settle for mediocrity.

2. Improving confidence

Improving confidence and developing an empowering self image are essential for success in the workplace, as well as physical health and  in our intimate relationships. Know what we are worth, raise your standards and see yourself as someone who deserves the best out of life. That will empower you and fuel you towards your greatest goals.

3. Overcoming obstacles, fear, and insecurities will set you ahead of the pack.

Most people run from their fears, you will learn to recognize them and allow them to drive you towards achievement.

4. Implementation

Bridge the gap between theory and practice. Taking education and motivation and turning it into the desired result!

5. Recognition of the possibilities for your life

Most people see life as fixed, permanent, as having no choice or no control. With a coach you can receive an outside perspective and realize that you have many options regardless of circumstance.

6. Creating a plan to reach your goals faster

Most people don’t have a life or goal plan; they approach life day-to-day with no clear intentions, vision or mission. All that changes with a coach.

7. Someone to hold you accountable

Being able to check in with a coach weekly is like having a best friend whose sole purpose is to help you succeed and hit whatever target you have set. Sometimes it is hard to find people in our lives who can honestly hold us accountable, all while cheering us on and motivating us throughout the whole process.

I would love to help you on this journey.

I know the world is a better place when people live lives that are passionate, compassionate, productive and meaningful. Contact me for more information on how we can work together so you can show the world your greatness!

“Your life is your message. Make it an inspiring one” -Buddha

As always, I hope this helps. Feel free to share this with your family, friends and colleagues.

All the best,

Jeff Moore


The Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach

5 years ago · · 0 comments

The Benefits of Hiring a Life Coach


If you haven’t used a life coach, you may have some questions about how it works and what benefits you can expect so I wanted to provide an overview of the benefits for you.

Life Coaching is an ongoing professional relationship that can help you to produce extraordinary results in your life, career and / or businesses. Life Coaching is not counselling or therapy; it is forward looking and is about achieving positive results in your life. As your coach, I will show you techniques and simple strategies for helping you to close the gap between where you are now and what you want to achieve.

There are many benefits it be had from engaging in life coaching:


Knowing what you want can be half the battle in life. As part of your pre-coaching work, I will help you to get clear about what you would like to achieve from coaching (if you are not already). On an on-going basis, coaching will help you to get and stay clear about your goals and the direction you would like to head in.


Accountability is a powerful tool for creating change. When engaged in the life coaching process, you will work with me, your coach to create goals to achieve between sessions. Coaching is very much a joint journey and as your life coach, I don’t give you advice or tell you what to do; together we will create goals for you that will be realistic and achievable and importantly, inspiring to you. The goals should be your goals and owned by you. If for some reason you are not able to achieve that goal, you will work with me in the next session to see what stopped you and help you to move forward again. The simple act of telling someone else what you intend to do can make a huge difference in the desire to achieve it. If you find that you are putting something off week after week, it is much more obvious in the coaching scenario and gets dealt with quicker than you may do by yourself. This means that you can either get to the bottom of why you have not achieved the goal or decide to leave it to one side if you realise it no longer inspires you.

Unbiased Input

Friends and family can be a great source of support, but sometimes unbiased input can make a big difference to your perspective and help you to see things about yourself and your life situation differently. We often hear things better from an outsider, than from people to close to the situation or us. Though your Mum may always remind you of your strengths, hearing the same message from someone outside of your situation can be helpful.

The Opportunity To Focus On You

Life coaching is an opportunity to focus on you and your dreams and aspirations. In day to day life, being busy with family, friends, work and hobbies often means that you and your bigger wants get left to the side. Life coaching gives you the space to think about you, your thoughts and feelings and about what is important to you. Life coaching can be truly life changing and can enable you to carve the space in your life for your goals and what is important to you.

Personal Development

Life coaching can be challenging and hard work, though also rewarding and fun. You will be looking at yourself honestly and challenging yourself to push yourself beyond your comfort zones. Life coaching will enhance your personal development and assist you in taking the various areas of your life to the next level.

Have you had life coaching? Please feel free to share the benefits you have found. Have further questions about life coaching? Please feel free to leave a question in the comments section or contact me.